The Basic Plot in the Form of a Haiku:

                        Act, Keanu, act!
                        It is not that difficult!
                        (sigh) 'Least there's cool effects....

My Basic Ramblings: Yes, believe it or not, it's a movie that was released within the last ten years!  Chris and one of Chris's friends and I saw it a weekend or two ago.

The first thing we did at the theater, of course, was snicker at the folks lined up to get tickets for Phantom Menace.  Except they weren't really lined up; they were all kind of hunkered down under a tent, watching a movie (no doubt one o'them Star Wars movies) on a TV/VCR combo.

Perhaps before I go any further I should explain my stance on the whole Phantom Menace thing.

I can understand being really, really, really excited for a movie [this happened to me with Apt Pupil].
I can understand wanting to see a movie at the first showing [this happened to me with The Fugitive].
I can understand leaving a movie and immediately wanting to get back in line and see it again [this happened to me with The Fugitive and L.A. Confidential].
I can not understand quitting one's job to spend two weeks sitting out in the cold and rain and snow and ick to see a movie that's not going to be going anywhere for quite some time.  (I also can't understand a local guy who named his kids Luke, Ben and Anakin.)

But this review is not about Phantom Menace (which I will see, eventually, don't worry).  It's about The Matrix.

The viewing of this movie I went to was unique in that it had built-in Running Commentary, courtesy of a couple about four rows behind us.  At the very beginning, after Neo is told to "follow the white rabbit", he sees a woman with a tattoo of a white rabbit on her shoulder.  Cool, right?  Imagine seeing it with someone saying "OH LOOK! IT'S THE WHITE RABBIT!!!" as it happens.  I really hate people sometimes.

If this movie is to be believed, we're all just batteries lying in goo powering all the evil machinery that took over.  (Probably all those Windows machines.  When in doubt, blame Bill Gates.)  If that is the case, I would like to appeal to my Evil Machinery Overlords to please give me a yellow Volkswagen New Beetle.  It wouldn't be that difficult, just plug the "VW New Beetle" card into my vat of goo and I'd be all set.

On the other hand, given the choice between a New Beetle and being able to run around wearing black leather jumpsuits and leaping over buildings in a single bound and basically being able to dodge bullets and beat the crap outta people, I would have to stop and think for a moment.

One site I check quite frequently is Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension.  In his review of Bad Girls, Jason MacIsaac makes the following point:   "All too
 often, in a movie that puffs itself up to have a STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER (as if they invented the idea), frequently gives the STRONG FEMALE
 CHARACTER a male or gender-neutral name."  Ripley in the Alien series, Sydney in the Scream series, and now Trinity in this movie. It makes sense.

Anyway, Trinity has a totally rockin' and bitchin' opening sequence, then fades into the background to become "faithful sidekick."  Sigh.  This is still okay, though, I suppose, because she flies that big helicopter and runs around in her leather catsuit.  Then, unfortunately, she turns Prince Charming to Keanu Reeves's Sleeping/Dead Beauty.  It's not fair.

The movie features that "spin around the freeze-framed people" thing that's become real popular with all the kids.  Anyone know of a situation where it was used before all those Gap commercials?

Then there's Keanu.  Sigh.  (And I mean that in a "oh dear Lord" way, not a "oh he's so dreamy" way.)  I suppose he works in the movie, since Neo is discovering all this and is bound to be clueless at points, but I can't help but look at him and think "It's Ted 'Theodore' Logan!"  (And didn't he just stick out like a sore thumb in Dangerous Liaisons and Dracula?)

At any rate, this was a pretty cool sci-fi flick that makes y'think and has lotsa cool effects and will probably be dragged out the next time a kid shoots up his high school as a reason for violent behavior...

(I apologize for the fragmentedness and jumping from point to point. I know I do that quite often in my reviews, but this one's particularly bad.  I'm still dealing with the new job and wanted to get this out as soon as I could.)