Warning: I watched this really late at night and missed the first five minutes (and Chris wouldn't tell me what I missed), so some of the subtle nuances were lost on me.
The Basic, Basic Plot: A bunch of people standing around talking about the Maltese Falcon (which is sort of like the Millennium Falcon except it's not a spaceship and Harrison Ford doesn't fly it). Specifically, where it is, who's got it, how much money can a man be bought for. Sam Spade is torn between the beautiful femme fatale and the fat guy - who's telling the truth, who should he believe, etc. Humphrey Bogart and Peter Lorre star.
My Ramblings: I'd need to watch this again to give it a decent review - I was zoning in and out the entire movie. What I can say is that Bogart's head looks entirely too large for his body (Charlie Brown Syndrome), Peter Lorre calls Bogart an "eediot" and I realized this is where Ren gets it from, and the colorized version of this movie really sucks (in one scene, a whole car is tinted purple - windows and all), so Chris adjusted the coloring so it was in black & white again. (Colorizing is evil...pure evil.)
Rating: I'd need to see it again, like I said, but I can tell you this: If it's colorized, ferget it.